Letting someone go is the hardest conversation most business owners ever have. Whether you've done it once or a dozen times, it doesn't get easier, and that's probably a good thing. The day it starts to feel easy is the day to worry.
So why does it weigh on us so much? Part of it is that it matters. It's personal, it's high-stakes, and most of us were never taught how to do it. We learned from being let go ourselves, or from sitting in on a manager who handled it years ago. Pile on the legal worry and the guilt, and it's no wonder we dread it.
But when you realize that doing a termination well is all about protection, that reframe changes things. You want to protect your business, the employee who is leaving, and the team who stays. Even a hard termination, handled professionally, gives the departing person dignity and clarity. And your remaining team is watching. How you treat the person on their way out tells everyone what kind of company you are.
This article picks up once you're seriously considering letting someone go and the documentation is in order. It walks through how to confirm the decision, run the meeting, choose the words that help rather than hurt, and handle the follow-through afterward that most people forget. For the documentation groundwork that comes before any of this, our guide on what to document and why is the place to start.
How to Prepare for a Termination Meeting
By the time you're planning the meeting, the documentation work should already be done. What's left is the termination-specific prep, the pieces that make the day itself go smoothly.
Think through logistics before you walk in. What access needs to be revoked, and when? Is there a key card, company credit card, laptop, or vehicle to collect? Will they have a severance agreement to review, personal belongings to gather, or, when applicable, COBRA or other benefits-continuation questions to answer? Having those details ready means you can address them calmly in the meeting instead of scrambling afterward.
Decide who's in the room. For most terminations, a witness matters, usually another manager or your HR contact. In a small business, this can feel awkward, especially when you're pulling in your office manager to sit in. Do it anyway. That second set of ears protects both you and the employee from any "he said, she said" afterward, and it's especially helpful in sensitive or higher-risk situations, including when the employee may not be expecting the news.
Location and timing matter too. Use a private office with the door closed, never a break room or an open workspace where others can hear. And be considerate of timing. If a big team lunch or event is about to start, try not to schedule the conversation right before it.
How to Run a Termination Meeting
The meeting is the part everyone catastrophizes about, because there are so many ways it can go sideways. A few principles keep it humane and keep it from spiraling.
Keep it short. In many cases, 10 to 15 minutes is enough. The horror stories are almost always meetings that dragged on for an hour, both people arguing, the manager defending the decision, and everyone saying things they regret. A short meeting is kinder to everyone in it.
Use a script, or at least a written opening line. You don't have to read from a page, but having your first sentence ready makes an enormous difference when you're nervous, and it sets the tone for everything that follows. It also keeps you out of the awkward small talk that sneaks into the start of a meeting. I once opened a discipline conversation with a casual, "How was your weekend?" and the person told me their mother had just gone into specialized care and their truck had broken down. Now, I'm about to pile a hard conversation on top of all that. A prepared opening saves you from those situations.
Have a witness. Worth repeating from above, especially for sensitive terminations.
Don't overexplain. The more you explain, the more room you create for negotiation. When we feel guilty, we tend to talk, justify, and pile on examples, but every extra reason is one more thing for the employee to argue with. State the decision, give the reason briefly, and stop.
Be final. Avoid phrasing that leaves the door cracked. "We've decided to let you go at this time" implies it could change. It can't. Communicate with clarity and kindness, and let the finality be part of the kindness.
What to Say When You Fire Someone (and What Not to Say)
The words you choose do a lot of work in this meeting. A few phrases close the loop cleanly and reduce the odds of a drawn-out back-and-forth.
Lead with the decision. No setup and no small talk. The moment the person sits down, they should understand why they're there. Something like: "As you know from our previous conversations, your attendance has been an issue. We've talked about it several times, and we haven't seen the change we needed. We're ending your employment today." That's direct, accurate, and professional. Phrases like "the decision has been made" and "this is our final decision" remove ambiguity and reduce the chance the employee spends the next 10 minutes trying to renegotiate.
You don't need to relitigate their entire history. If you did the documentation work, you've already had these conversations, and this shouldn't be a surprise. Think of the meeting as the summary sentence. You've already walked through the details in the earlier conversations; today, you're closing the loop, not reopening it.
Just as important is what to avoid saying in a termination meeting:
"You're just not a good fit." It sounds soft and considerate, but it can be vague and unhelpful, especially if it masks a more specific, documented performance, conduct, or business reason. Use a clear, truthful reason that matches the record.
"This was such a hard decision" or "I didn't want to do this." It's true that you feel that way, but this centers on you. It's harder for the person losing their job than it is for you. Save the platitudes.
"Between you and me... ." Nothing in this meeting should be framed as off the record. This isn't the moment to throw another employee or upper management under the bus, or to hint that the decision wasn't really yours. All that does is reopen the question of whether it's final.
Give them something concrete to hold onto next. When someone is being let go, their mind goes straight to survival: What happens to my insurance? When do I get paid?
So, walk through the practical next steps: "Your final paycheck will be on this date, here's what happens with your benefits, and we'll need these items back before you leave today." Then close simply with something like, "I'm sorry it came to this," or "I wish you the best." You don't need more than that. Keep it short, keep it clear, and make it sound like you.
What to Do After You Let an Employee Go
The meeting isn't the end of your responsibility. Plenty of well-meaning employers stumble on the follow-through, often simply because no one ever told them the rules.
Final pay. In Tennessee, the rule is relatively forgiving: A departing employee's final wages are due by the next regular payday or within 21 days of separation, whichever is later (Tenn. Code Ann. Section 50-2-103(g)). If you run monthly payroll, pay close attention to the timing. But whatever your payroll schedule, compare the next regular payday with the date 21 days after separation and use whichever date is later. You can always pay sooner if you want to. And if someone is anxiously waiting on that last check, moving quickly is a kindness even though it isn’t required.
Accrued, unused PTO or vacation. Tennessee generally doesn't independently require payout of unused vacation or compensatory time at termination. Whether it is owed usually depends on the employer’s written policy or a labor agreement. Some states treat earned vacation (and, depending on the state and plan design, certain PTO) as wages that must be paid out. California and Colorado are examples, but multi-state employers should check the law where the employee works, not just the state where the company is based. Review your handbook during every termination and honor what you put in writing.
References. At some point after a termination, a prospective employer may call to check a reference on the person you let go. There's a common myth that you can only confirm dates of employment, or you'll get sued. The fear of a defamation claim is understandable, but it's led to an overcorrection. In Tennessee, employers may generally provide truthful, fair, and unbiased information about a former employee’s job performance in good faith, and state law provides qualified immunity for those disclosures. That protection is not absolute, so keep references factual, consistent, and limited to information you can substantiate.
And consistency matters. A written reference policy helps reduce the risk that different treatment will later be characterized as discriminatory or retaliatory, especially when the differences aren't tied to a legitimate, documented business reason. Decide your policy ahead of time, put it in writing, and apply it to everyone. Steer clear of anything about medical or protected information, speculation, or predictions about whether they'd be a good employee elsewhere. In short, nothing that could blacklist someone in the industry.
What Happens When a Terminated Employee Files for Unemployment?
Expect that almost anyone you let go will file for unemployment. It's normal, legal, and completely routine. You'll get a notice, and your job is to respond on time and with your documentation in hand. Don't ignore it.
A couple of myths are worth clearing up. The first is that an employee fired "for cause" automatically can't collect unemployment. That's not how it works. In Tennessee, a claimant may be disqualified when they were discharged for work-related misconduct, and the employer has the burden to prove it under a specific legal standard. Poor performance, inability, isolated mistakes, or good-faith errors aren't necessarily misconduct. Attendance and conduct cases are highly fact-specific: repeated, documented violations of a clearly communicated policy can support a misconduct finding, while ordinary attendance issues or performance problems may not.
The second myth is that unemployment claims will wreck you financially. A portion of your payroll taxes funds your unemployment account, and a high volume of approved claims can nudge your rate up over time. Tennessee unemployment taxes are experience-rated, so benefit charges can affect an employer’s rate over time. The actual impact varies based on the employer’s account history, payroll, benefit charges, and the state’s applicable rate table. A single claim isn't automatically catastrophic, but employers shouldn't assume every approved claim has no effect.
The takeaway: Don't keep someone on staff just to avoid an unemployment claim. Once you know a role isn't working, letting the person go is usually the kinder move for them and better for the team. Let the system run the way it's designed to, and keep your documentation in order.
How to Know If You're Making the Right Termination Decision
Before you go through with it, take a few minutes for a fairness check. Done right, this takes just a few minutes and leaves you confident the decision holds up. Think of it as a final confirmation before you act.
Try the substitution test. Swap the employee's name for someone else's. Would you make the same call? Would you have documented it the same way, given the same chances? Would you treat a 15-year employee the way you're treating a three-year one, or the reverse? We're all human, which is exactly why it helps to check for unconscious bias before you act.
Watch the timing around protected activity. If someone recently made a discrimination, harassment, wage, safety, leave, accommodation, or other protected complaint (or participated in an investigation), and now you're considering termination, pause and make sure the legitimate reason, timing, and supporting record are clear. The two events may be genuinely unrelated, but the record should be able to show that. You want a clean, well-documented record that explains the timing on its own terms. But don’t let this make you paranoid. You're just confirming the decision is sound and that the record holds up before you act.
How to Let Someone Go With Confidence
Terminations are hard, and we tend to avoid the ones we're afraid we'll botch. That fear is understandable, and even the employers who handle these situations best still feel the weight of it. What sets them apart is preparation. They’ve built a habit of documentation, thought through the process ahead of time, and practiced approaching a hard conversation with clarity and care.
Protection is still the point: for your business, for the person leaving, and for the team that stays and watches how you handle it. Do the prep, keep the meeting short and final, choose your words with care, and follow through afterward. It’s difficult, but you can do it well.
If you'd like the actual scripts to work from, our Performance Management Toolkit includes termination talking points for both the lead and the second person in the room, an emotional firing script, and coaching templates you can adapt to your own situation. And if you're staring down a termination right now and want a second set of eyes before you move, that's exactly the kind of thing our People Services team is here for.
This article offers general guidance, with several rules discussed here specific to Tennessee. Employment laws vary by state and by circumstance, so consult qualified counsel or an HR professional before acting on a high-risk termination.
